


Everything is Black

by DanaiaCake



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, I wont tag anymore so I wont spoil things, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon, Sorry Not Sorry, implied asanoya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9107221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanaiaCake/pseuds/DanaiaCake
Summary: A KageHina oneshot story that you probably shouldn't read.BTW, I am sorry for the very uninspired title.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've said that my latest IwaOi fic would be my last for 2016, but I just couldn't end the year without showing some KageHina love. <3 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one. *wink wink*
> 
> Again, sorry for the very uninspired title. It's 2AM where I am and I seriously need to sleep cuz I'd be getting up at 4am later. With that said, I guess you know that this is not Beta-Read. I'd be rereading this tomorrow when I wake up so expect some very minor edits. :)
> 
> Kuddos and comments help feed me. Thanks! <3

_ Everything about him reminds him of the color black _ .  _ His hair. His eyes. Sometimes, even his overall personality. _

Black for absolute, impenetrable power as what Coach Takeda said, any color vanishes in the presence of black. Like a vacuum, black swallows everything in its path.  _ Ruthless.  _ Black transforms things. Black brings forth extraordinary out of the ordinary.

_ Black doesn’t let the light in nor does it let it out.  _ It keeps everything inside, hidden, perfectly concealed. Except in some occasions, a little ray of sunshine peeks out from underneath its bleak surface-- _ so quick you will think you’re just imagining it _ . It is so rare… but when it does happen, he will make sure he’s there to bask in all its precious radiance.

A lonesome cab pulls over the gate of Karasuno High School on a cold winter day. The winter break has already started and apart from some indoor club activities, the school is nearly empty and the foreboding silence gives away unusual sound save for the light blowing of the breeze rustling the leafless branches of the trees by the entrance.

Hinata Shouyo gets out of the cab and looks up at the giant  _ gingko _ tree decorating the area in front of the school. The red bricks surrounding its roots and providing seats to students during lunch break had already been removed and replaced with a sturdier cement material which honestly looked more appealing, but still feels wrong to him.

Despite the lack of leaves, the tree’s ominous size still makes Hinata feel small--though he has grown inches taller compares when he was in high school, he’s still helplessly dwarfed by the tree’s mere presence.

The cab honks breaking the stillness of the afternoon and Hinata looks bach shyly before he gives his payment to the driver and turns to the man sitting silently and idly at the backseat.

“Come on, Kageyama.” He urges and black eyes blink at him in surprise… and  _ fear?  _ Hinata sighs and offers his hand, “Come on. The driver needs to leave, too.”

Kageyama looks at the driver who is also looking expectantly at him before he finally nods and takes Hinata’s offered hand. 

An unusually cold wind swooshes past the moment Kageyama stepped out of the car, making both of them fix the scarves around their necks so it would cover half of their faces, or at least up to their mouths. Hinata also fixes his ear muffs, looking worriedly at Kageyama who isn’t wearing any. 

The person concerned however doesn’t seem to notice the cold as he looked up at the giant dead-looking frozen tree before them. Hinata smiles, “We’re so used to seeing this tree in full bloom. This is probably the first time we’ve seen it like this.” Kageyama looks at him but says nothing.

Hinata doesn’t wait longer--it’s too cold out anyway. He grabs Kageyama’s hand and half drags him to the main school building. They arrive at the shoe lockers and he pulls Kageyama’s hand towards the left corner most shelves. His eyes scan the faded out numbers and when a certain locker catches his attention, he yelps, “There! I found it!”

The locker is at eye level now surprising him mildly before he realizes why.  Hinata smiles proudly at Kageyama, “I’ve grown taller. Before I had to tiptoe just to be able to ram my shoes inside.”

He sees a light of humor flash beforr Kageyama’s dark eyes, but they disappear quickly even before Kageyama produces a laugh.  _ Such a pity. _ He looks back at the locker which is now owned by a certain  _ Kirishima Touji  _ and begins to look for the other locker. 

Kageyama’s shoe locker is just three lockers to the left of his and his eyes traces the path quickly only to be met with an empty space. “I guess, they had to remove some lockers to widen the hallway.” He says sadder than expected.

Kageyama doesn’t respond again… his presence as cold as the winter breeze right outside. But Hinata doesn’t give up because like before,  _ he is the Kageyama’s sunshine _ . “Come on, let’s go up the classrooms.”

He bounds off to where the stairs are leading to the classrooms, not bothering to wait for Kageyama who yells something unintelligible after him. 

Had he waited, he would have heard Kageyama’s “Classrooms are off-limits to outsiders,  _ boke. _ ” which Kageyama repeats when he caught up with him. Hinata scowls at him, “Well, nobody’s looking.”

Kageyama’s brows furrow, “Doesn’t mean we can go right ahead.”

“Oh since when are you this righteous,  _ Tobio-chan?” _ Hinata purrs, purposely using the nickname the  _ grand king  _ uses just to rile him up. It does, but not as much as Hinata would have wanted, “Stop calling me that.”

Hinata smiles, “Okay but come on, let’s head up to the classrooms. Maybe when you walk the familiar hallways…” his voice trails off and his eyes and shoulders droop down until he looked like a lost puppy. 

Kageyama scowls at him but before  Hinata could continue his words, the taller man had already grabbed his hand and is now dragging him up the stairs, “I’m only doing this because you’re making a stupid face.”

Hinata looks up at Kageyama and sees the back of his head as well as a glimpse of the side of his face… and there on his cheek is the slightest touch of pink. He feels his cheeks burn at the same time.

They reach the third floor and a wave of nostalgia hits Hinata the moment he sees the familiar hallways of his high school.  _ How long has it been? Ten or eleven years?  _

He looks up at Kageyama, hoping to see the same wave of nostalgia that hit him, hit Kageyama as well but the setter’s face remains hard and stoic. Like he is looking at an empty canvas in front of him while Hinata could see an abstract painting, all with vivid colors.

He bites his lower lip and looks away and only when he feels the tight squeeze on his hand does he realize that Kageyama is still holding onto him. He looks up to find him frowning… but this time, out of frustration to himself.

“I can’t see it.” Kageyama says in a strained voice, “Hinata, I can’t see what you are seeing.”

Hinata wants to ask what he means but to do so would just be cruel. He has also gone past asking him to  _ try  _ because whenever he does, it always only leads to more frustration and more broken hearts. He has gone past those things…  _ they had _ . But this is Kageyama Tobio. He will never surrender the fight.

Hinata doesn’t say  _ “It’s going to be okay.” _ nor does he offer any other form of consolation. He just stands there, beside Kageyama as the latter struggles to patch himself up, lick his wounds like usual because Hinata knows he is stronger than he allows himself to be.

Slowly but surely, when Kageyama is sure he doesn’t need Hinata that much, he lets his hand go. Hinata smiles and tugs at Kageyama’s hand “Neh, Kageyama. Let’s go to the gym?”

 

\---

 

The smell of sweat and air salonpas pervades the air once Hinata pushed open the door to the gym. His heart quickens at the sight of the volleyball club currently practicing their serves on the far side of the court, opposite where they entered. 

All of the players are taller than him, some even taller than Tsukishima was except for one who he guesses is probably the libero considering his unusual uniform. He breathes in the air… and it makes him heady with a needy sting of longing. 

_ Longing for something that has already came to pass.  _ But it doesn’t matter because he can hear Nishinoya-san screaming “ _ Rolling Thunder!”  _ from the other side of the court; he can hear Tanaka-san snickering, can see Ennoshita and the rest of the second years shaking their heads in disapproval. Daichi-san and Suga-san are converging with Asahi-san, talking about how they should improve their synchronized attack while Yachi and Kiyoko-senpai are giving out towels to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi in one corner.

It’s all clear in his head. He wishes Kageyama could see and hear them, too. He looks up to see him staring at the club members, a spark of curiosity in his eyes, a whole lot of frustration... _ but nothing else. _

It had been ten years since the two of them last set foot on this court--during a practice match against Shiratorizawa. They graduated from high school and parted ways as good friends who decided to live their lives at their own phase. Kageyama got into one of the power schools in Tokyo under a scholarship while Hinata stayed in Miyagi to study at a local college.

Still, distance meant nothing to them. They stayed in touch, even when they couldn’t understand why each other’s presence suddenly seemed  _ too important _ . For Kageyama, Hinata feels like  _ home.  _ For Hinata, Kageyama feels like  _ the world. _

A year apart and they finally understood what the ambiguous relationship they had… and still, neither one of them dared call it names.  _ Labels simply make everything more complicated _ . They just wanted to have fun.

But the  _ fun part _ usually doesn’t last very long. There was jealousy at first, then mistrust, then more jealousy… and suddenly what they had hurt more than it’s allowed to. So they ended what they  _ didn’t really had  _ because, they haven’t really started.

Hinata went to Tokyo after college. He had a dream of opening his own café, and after saving up enough money, he was able to put up a humble store right in the middle of Shibuya. He had no real intention of crossing paths again with Kageyama, thinking the two of them had already moved on from each other and contented himself with watching the setter conquer the world in his small television…  _ but  _ it’s such a small city for two souls which  _ apparently  _ were already intertwined together. 

They met again and suddenly, their hearts remembered what their brains refused to acknowledge. But it wasn’t like they were just picking up where they last left of… they started from the beginning--exchanged contact numbers, became friends… but they both knew  _ that wasn’t enough. _ What followed were nothing more but a hazy whirlwind of confused emotions, confessions and kisses…  _ lots and lots of kisses. _ Whatever the case is,  _ this time, they were ready to put a label on what they had _ .

That happened six years ago, when everything in their world finally settled into place.

A year after, Kageyama got recruited for  _ Team Japan _ . Another year and he became a silver medalist in Olympics while Hinata’s small café,  _ The Little Giant _ was becoming the talk of the town. It was a fun life. They were happy living their dreams.

_ Dreams.  _ Because years ago, what the two of them had were just too good to be true. And sooner, rather than later, reality caught up with them sneakily, under the cloak of terrible jealousy and insecurity.

Kageyama had an interview in one of the local sports TV show where he was asked if he was seeing anyone. Naturally and as expected, he said he wasn’t because both of them agreed to keep what they have low profile, only letting the people who mattered to them know. They knew at that time that the world of sports isn’t as  _ open and forgiving  _ for the likes of them. But the interviewer didn’t stop there, instead, a series of paparazzi photos of  _ them-- _ Kageyama and Hinata--together flashed in the television screen.

The photos didn’t look too suspicious, it looked like two friends enjoying a dinner in a fancy, albeit romantic restaurant. Kageyama easily denied it, saying he was just meeting a friend from high school. The interviewer accepted that, but the day after, rumors started to spread. Rumors if baseless usually just die on its own, but Hinata knew the rumors were not just rumors. And when things like that happen, it usually hurts someone… this time, he knew it would hurt Kageyama’s career.  _ Not his. _

Taking a break was the first thing be thought of… not a permanent one, just a temporary thing. But when he brought it up, Kageyama naturally got ballistic and stormed off from their apartment. An hour later, as he packed his clothes to go home to Miyagi, he got _the call._ _Kageyama got into a car accident. He’s in a critical condition._

“Hinata.” Kageyama speaks silently beside him, “Why did you take me here?”

Hinata had been asking the same question himself. He isn’t fooling anyone, especially not Kageyama. But if he tells him the reason, he’d get mad at him. He’s probably tell him to  _ just stop trying because you can not force something like that! _

Doctors called it _post-traumatic amnesia._ After suffering a terrible head concussion, Kageyama lost his memories from the time he was in middle school up to the present. The doctors said it might take some time for his memories to come back because he didn’t totally lost them, he just, for lack of a better term, misplaced them but they are still there… in the dusty corners of his brain. 

It will take some time, they said. In the meantime, Hinata needs to offer support and understanding as he heals.  _ He only needed to wait.  _ The only problem is, Kageyama woke up not knowing who he was or what he was in his life. Kageyama couldn’t really remember anything else save for his childhood.

Usually, that would be his cue to walk away. It’s obviously a  _ red flag  _ because it hurt so much whenever Kageyama looks at him with a blank, sometimes confused expression.  _ Besides, he already planned on leaving, didn’t he? _ But he was Hinata, and this was Kageyama…  _ his Kageyama.  _ Together, they had always been invincible and there was no way Hinata could bear leave him in such a condition. So he did the only possible thing to help Kageyama remember…  _ by not waiting.  _

Because the doctors and Kageyama…  _ especially Kageyama _ … are wrong. If he needed to break into that pitch black sadness, that bleak emptiness of Kageyama’s eyes, he would.  _ Oh, he would blind him with his light… because isn’t he the one that always breaks through Kageyama’s cold and aloof facadè?  _

He takes a shaky breath, anxiety lacing his already small voice, “I guess, I was just hoping that if the past can’t catch up to you, you’d be the one to catch up on it.” he says hoping he’s making sense even when his mind is playing tricks on him.

Kageyama frowns at that, “You… what are you to me _?” _ he takes a deep breath, “No, scratch that. What are we, really?”

That’s it.  _ The million dollar question.  _ He had successfully evaded it ever since the incident because the question in itself is a crossroad he isn’t… will never be ready to answer. He always, naively thought that he’d cross that bridge once he got there…  _ well, here he is now and he still doesn’t know what to say _ .

He could be selfish. He could tell Kageyama the truth, apologize and tell him that he didn’t really want to break up.  _ Or  _ he could tell him a little white lie to make sure he gets a new chance to find and live his dream again while Hinata watches on the sideline.

_ Sometimes,  _ a little ray of sunshine peeks out from underneath its bleak surface-- _ so quick you will think you’re just imagining it _ . Hinata smiles, “Neh, Kageyama-kun. Toss for me?”

Kageyama frowns, “Eh? I don’t know how to.” But Hinata has already bounded off to the club members practicing who finally looked up to see this weird  _ ojisan _ walking towards them to borrow a volleyball. 

He throws the ball to Kageyama’s direction whose quick reflexes and perfectly attuned body made him move to the rhythm and toss it back to Hinata. He hears a collective gasp from the students at the precision toss Kageyama did, much to the surprise of the actual man who made the set.

Hinata beams proudly at Kageyama, moving back so he could reel himself in for the jump…  _ what the brain forgets, the body doesn’t.  _ He makes a run for it and jumps as high as he could. 

_ And so does the heart. _

 

\---

 

“Thank you for coming! See you again, tomorrow!” Hinata bows his head low as one of their regulars walks out from his newly opened café.

He walks towards the small bar and slumps on one of the stools as Asahi-san who works as his barista shakes his head in disapproval, “Stop overworking yourself, Hinata. I told you I could ask Nishinoya to help out and you only need to pay him food.”

He manages to give Asahi-san a thankful grunt before he goes back to moping. He knows Nishinoya-san would be more than glad to help, but he isn’t one to use their friendship so carelessly.  _ Still, it’s a welcoming idea especially for his dead tired body.  _ Filling up for two sick waiters, it seemed, isn’t an easy task after all. He had been working both shifts and on top of that, he still had managerial tasks after operation hours.

But when the bell rings indicating a new customer entering, he looks up and flashes a refreshing smile to the one who entered… until he realizes who it is.

His smile freezes in place and he feels all the exhaustion leave his body at the sight of Kageyama standing by the doorway, looking at him. He was about to call out to him, tell him how happy he is for him to drop by… maybe start a new friendship with him.

If only a woman, a couple of inches shorter than him, carrying a black-haired, black-eyed baby which oddly resembled him, didn’t enter and clung to his arm.

He hears Asahi-san, who apparently saw him too, audibly gasp. Hinata blinks once and twice… more times just so he could spread back the tears that had already pooled in his eyes. Kageyama looks at him with a sense of familiarity, and yet even that look…  _ hurts like hell. _

“Asahi-san, Hinata-san.” Kageyama gives both of them a low bow and a small smile, “It’s been a while.”

To be fair, it is Asahi who first recovered, “Yeah. How’s it been?”

Kageyama gives them a sheepish grin before he turns to the woman who is standing quietly... _ and perfectly _ beside him, “Ah, yes. I got married to…”

“Excuse me.” Hinata cuts in before Kageyama could even continue. He looks down and picks himself up from the stool before marching towards the back of the store.

The tears which had attempted to fall a few minutes ago, magically disappeared and he is just thinking how terrible it is because he’d give anything… Anything to make them fall and wash away the indescribable pain twisting in his chest. So he leans on the wall with his hands, pushing his head painfully against it as he tries to breathe out the gut-wrenching despair inside him.

_ A friend. I’m nothing more but a friend who wants you to get well. _

His head is racing. Too many thoughts running in his head, making him dizzy.  _ Maybe, he should have told him the truth. Maybe, if he did, if he had been a little more selfish, he might have not been the one crying in the back alley of his small store. Maybe, maybe… _

Too many maybe’s yet none of them matters now.

The click of the door knob and the slow creaming of the door behind him makes him look around and he finds Kageyama standing by the doorway again, a look of shock in his face.

“Go away.” Hinata says turning away, not wanting him to see how broken he is. “Are you okay?” Kageyama asks and Hinata, if only he’s breathing properly would have snorted.  _ The man I love is married to someone else. What did you think? _

But he is Hinata. And he will forever be Kageyama’s sunshine. He closes his eyes until his breath settles down to a steady rhythm… only to pick up again when he feels Kageyama stand behind him, placing a hand on his back in an attempt to soothe him.

_ Ah, how cruel.  _ He turns around to face him.... And their proximity is like another torture because Kageyama is  _ right there, the space which didn’t exist between them is there, unbridged, unexplored.  _ “What’s happening with you? Are you sick? Talk to me.” Kageyama asks and Hinata watches his lips move, breathes in the warm, clean scent of his breath.

_ His lips are so near… he only needs to- _ -

“I’m sorry.” he says pulling away, still dizzy from the closeness “I was just feeling out of the weather. Been a hell of a week.” 

Kageyama looks at him and he sees himself in those black pools that were his eyes. He looks pathetic… but he likes being reflected in those eyes if it  meant that Kageyama is only looking at him.

Kageyama nods and gives him a rare smile, “Don’t overwork yourself, Hinata-boke. You got me worried. You looked like you were having a panic attack.”

_ Panic attack. Feh.  _ He wishes it's really just as simple as that. But is he really the one to complain?  _Isn't this what he wanted?_ Didn't the universe give him a choice a few years back when Kageyama asked him what they really were? And the coward that he is answered-- _lied--_ because he made himself believe that it was all for the better.  _Was it? Was it, really?_

“Come on, let’s go back.” Kageyama says, “I’ll introduce you to my wife.”

He swallows hard before trudging after him, each step heavier than the previous one.

 

\---

 

_ Everything about him reminded him of the color black _ .  _ His hair. His eyes. Sometimes, even his overall personality. But, more often than not… he sees him shed a different color, flaunt a vivid shade that has broken through the skin of his eternal darkness. _

_ He wishes he’d be there when it happens. But the colors don’t shine for him. The light doesn’t belong to him. _

_ At least, not anymore. _

  
**+++**


End file.
